House of Cards Against Humanity

Cartes blanches

25 shitty jokes about House of Cards.
A childless marriage.
A homoerotic subplot.
A much younger woman.
An older man.
An origami swan that’s some kind of symbol?
Carbon monoxide poisoning.
Discharging a firearm in a residential area.
Forcing a handjob on a dying man.
Getting eaten out while on the phone with Dad.
Making it look like a suicide.
My constituents.
Punching a congressman in the face.
Ribs so good they transcend race and class.
Strangling a dog to make a point to the audience.
The sensitive European photographer who€™'s fucking my wife.

Cartes noires

A wise man said, "Everything is about sex. Except sex. Sex is about ____."
Because you enjoyed ____, we thought you'd like ____.
Cancel all my meetings. We've got a situation with ____ that requires my immediate attention.
Corruption. Betrayal. ____. Coming soon to Netflix, "House of ____."
I can't believe Netflix is using ____ to promote House of Cards.
I'm not going to lie. I despise ____. There, I said it.
If you need him to, Remy Danton can pull some strings and get you ____, but it'll cost you.
Our relationship is strictly professional. Let's not complicate things with ____.
We're not like other news organizations. Here at Slugline, we welcome ____ in the office.